As the new year comes to a close I’ve begun to look back at all the things that have left my life, whether they were opportunities, friendships, jobs, etc. I always find myself asking, ‘Why?’ Why didn’t I get chosen for this? Why did this opportunity fall through? Why did this friendship end? Why, why, why? And I realized, I simply have a hard time letting go.
It’s hard to let go of something you invested time in, something you cared about, something you saw yourself doing. It’s hard to let go of a friendship you thought would last for a long time but you know deep down it wasn’t healthy and you should have moved on long before then. It’s hard to let go of things you feel could have ended differently. A confession: I’m a control freak, a micromanager in every sense of the word. I’m well aware that I can’t help but want things to be the way I want them. But God has taught me a lot of lessons this year; lessons I didn’t want—but clearly needed—to learn.
I’ve never been one for New Years resolutions. I’ve always been a goal-oriented person so I set my goals and intentions and I focus on them until I achieve them. If I’m honest with myself, I’m usually pretty successful at accomplishing what I set out to do and the things I fail at I always try to learn the reason why I failed. But next year I need to make a deal with myself that I simply have to let things go. I can’t harbor pain, I can’t hold onto anger, I can’t allow things and people to have control over my emotions and affect me.
The most difficult part of letting go is accepting that something is over. I’m typically relentless in my pursuit of something. I don’t like to give up, whether it’s something work related or a friendship I think deserves another chance. The problem is we tend to ignore the signs of things we need to let go, especially when God is so obviously telling us MOVE ON, THIS ISN’T FOR YOU ANYMORE. I’ve struggled with learning the difference between perseverance and stubbornness. It’s a fine line but it’s an important distinction to make.
For me, moving into this next year it’s imperative that I listen to signs and know when to let go. Sometimes I need to let go altogether and sometimes I have to let go and just let God.